Friday, February 5, 2010

What did Humpty Dumpty have that I don't?

If I weren’t in so much pain, I would howl in indignity. How dare they! I am quite thoroughly insulted and rightfully so.

Let me ask you something. When Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, didn’t ‘all the king’s horses and all the king’s men’ try their best to put him back together? Did the King summon the Palace janitor and order him to patch Humpty Dumpty together with Gorilla super glue? Of course not! The entire kingdom marched to save him. They failed but that is neither here nor there. I am sure Humpty’s soul rests in peace today knowing that he died with his dignity intact. So why, I ask you, don’t I rate the same courtesy?

No, I have no head injuries. I am quite sure that I have no concussion. But I do have 4 holes in my stomach. And that, my friends, is the source of my ever-rising irritation.

If you read my ‘New Year’s Resolution’ post, you would know that weight loss has always been the elusive pot of gold at the end of my rainbow. So you can understand my reaction when my doctor told me last week that my gallbladder had to be surgically removed. Ok, so I needn’t have squealed with glee and grabbed the ‘doc’ to waltz in the 4x4 examination room but hey, is it my fault I didn’t know that gallbladder is a teeny tiny sac the size of my palm? Isn’t it just my luck that the one part that I can afford to lose happens to weigh under a pound or so? Why couldn’t it weigh, say, 20 pounds? Chop, chop and I would have been 20 pounds lighter today. I give up now. When the many forces of the universe at large conspire to keep you (there is only one way to say it) chubby, what’s a girl to do?

Coming back to why I feel insulted, guess what the great doctors at the hospital did? You can’t guess, I bet. After yanking my gallbladder out, you would think that they would have the courtesy to stitch me back together, wouldn’t you? A few simply sewn stitches (I am not asking for French knots here, mind you) that I can show my husband to justify the enormous bill that is coming our way. For thousands of dollars, they could not bother to leave behind some eensy weensy sutures?

An even bigger dilemma is this. What do I say to all those friends who have cooked their hearts out for my family this week when they ask ‘When are you going back to get your stitches out?’ How do I tell them that I don’t need to go back? How do I tell them that the doctors actually slapped some ‘derma glue’ on me and sent me home? Glue, for god’s sakes! How insulting, really! What did Humpty Dumpty have that I don’t, I ask you.

Until I am strong enough to get up and stomp my feet around to vent this anger, this post will have to do.

-Meena Sankaran


Anonymous said...

Hats off to that humor even when you are down and under after a surgery. Awesome post Meena. Keep them coming.

Niveda said...

Chithi... why do you have to make me say it again. im tired of typing this word for you.

AWESOME!!! you have done it again ( as you always have). You are the only person who would shrug off an operation this easily. maybe also your sisters lol. I hope you feel better. im calling you up today :P
and informing your frnds ( nah jk lets just let them read this post).

PEACE ( thats the new "in" you know what iam going to say every time i call you :P)

நாகு (Nagu) said...

Get well soon, Meena. Hope the super glue holds. Somebody is crowing that you won't have the galls to question him any more :-)

Jayakanthan - ஜெயகாந்தன் said...

Humorous post. Hope its not a major one. Get well soon. How is Sahana's health.

Meenakshi Sankaran said...

Thanks Krithika and Nivi.

I learned something very important this week. Life goes on with or without your gallbladder. :-)

Meenakshi Sankaran said...

//Somebody is crowing that you won't have the galls to question him any more :-)//

Ha ha, ain't that the truth!

Meenakshi Sankaran said...

Thank you Jayakanthan. In the words of Rancho, 'all is well' with Sahana and I am determined to join her ranks soon too.

Srilatha said...

Surgery and then you don't even call me? Don't know whether to hug you or yell..

Rest, and don't do your ab crunches, push-ups or sit-ups for a while.

I have also decided - I will call you today and yell...

Meenakshi Sankaran said...

My ears are still ringing from your call Srilatha. :-))

//Rest, and don't do your ab crunches, push-ups or sit-ups for a while.//

I won't, I won't, I won't, I promise you. (THANK YOU GOD).

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Arjit Srivastava said...

Ha ha, funny! :P Get well soon!

Meena Sankaran said...

Thank you namit! I will stop by your post soon.

Rajendra Raikwar said...

good one